


The Elf

by diamond_dreamer



Series: Writing Class Stories [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, Funny, Humor, Lunch, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 17:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamond_dreamer/pseuds/diamond_dreamer





	The Elf

Jeffrey couldn’t wait until lunch.His breakfast had been a meager, rushed banana shoved in his mouth as he ran to the bus stop.For the last hour and a half, all he could think of was eating again.And now, it was time.Lunchtime. 

Jeffrey grabbed his lunch box out of his locker and rushed to the cafeteria.His box felt oddly empty but heavy, as if there was a single can of soda inside.Jeff could have sworn that he packed a bologna sandwich yesterday. 

Jeffrey settled in his usual chair at his usual table and opened his usualcartoon-themed lunchbox, the one he had found at his usual mysterious garage sale.Inside of the lunch box was a single brown bag.His name was written in purple crayon on the bag in an unfamiliar and ugly script. 

“That’s not my sandwich,” Jeff thought as he opened the bag.As soon as he touched the scotch tape holding the paper sack closed, it sprang open with a pop and a cloud of purple, lavender-scented smoke. 

Jeff was allergic to lavender, so he started to sneeze.By the time his eyes had stopped watering, a small figure had appeared in the lunch box. 

“What the hell?” Jeff bellowed and sneezed one more time.

“Surprise! It is I, the Lunchbox Elf!” the Lunchbox Elf ejaculated.He did a little jig.

“The f are you?” Jeff responded.

“I’m the Lunchbox Elf! I grant wishes to those who eat lunch!” The Lunchbox Elf did another jig.

Jeff blinked for half a second before responding.“What’s the price?”

“Price!” The Lunchbox Elf scoffed.“There is absolutely nooo price!”He giggled mischievously, putting his hand on his tiny left dimple.The Lunchbox Elf was a bad liar. 

Any wish that Jeffrey wanted.He could wish for a million dollars, no, a billion dollars! He could become president, or have five girlfriends. Or…

A vision from English classes past flashed through his mind.“The Monkey’s Paw.”Fairly Odd Parents.All of Greek mythology.Wishes never worked out well.

Jeff made his decision and looked the Lunchbox Elf in his Lunchbox Elf eyes.

“I wish I had my sandwich back.”


End file.
